Happy Birthday Mama!

Today I celebrate an Awesome Woman of GOD, A Mother, A Minister, and A Friend to many. Today is my mom's (mumbles age) bday!

I am always thankful for the relationship I have with my mom. When I woke up this morning I was reminded of the relationship we have had over the years. I blog a lil about it here. No we have not alway been close and yes we have had our knock down drag out I am never talking to you again fights but one thing she has always said was I am always your mother and I will always love you with the love of GOD and she has done that very thing.

Growing up I was always close to my grandmother. We shared a special relationship and whenever I had an issue I went to my Ma she always made everything better. We talked daily sometimes multiple times a day. After my grandmother passed I had a conversation with my mom about my grandmothers death and how everyone was dealing with it. My mom said "Even though you were close to your grandmother and will miss her dearly you still have a mother...I am still your mother but my siblings and I we know longer have a mother."

That conversation really made me think. Yes I would miss my grandmother (my eyes are tearing up even writing this) but I still have a mother who loves me. Today I talk to my mom daily either through email or on the phone. I am thankful for the relationship that we have today and I know that everything comes on GOD's appointed time.

At this appointed time I am thankful that my mom is not only my mother I am thankful that she is my minister. She ministers to me on a daily basis. She not only speaks life into me she tells me about myself when I am wrong. My mom has never been one to bite her tongue so I love how she does not sugar coat things for me. She does not pacify me and holds me accountable. She prays for me daily and intercedes on my behalf and because she is so connected to me she knows when I am sad and going through something. She praises me when I do well and tells me she loves me ALL the time. She covers me!

My mom isn't just my minister and protector she is also the same with my brother and sisters (to include my sister n law). She gives each of us what we need and never seems depleted. I am thankful that is a child of the Most High and is able to get restored daily because my siblings and I are a handful (LOL).

So today I celebrate this Awesome Woman of GOD, A Mother, A Minister, and A Friend to many! I love you Mama!

Blessings
A'Keta Julinate' 

Grateful

The last couple of weeks the choir at church has been singing Grateful by Hezekiah Walker (listen below) and whenever they sing the spirit moves. There is not a day that goes by that I am not Grateful for my relationship with CHRIST! This song reminds me of how much HE loves me. In this season I am in learning to trust HIM with all the issues of my heart and I am so glad that HE shows me who I am and then restores me. MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD!

Psalm 136:26 Give thanks to the GOD of heaven, for HIS steadfast love endures forever.

Romans 5:2-5 Through HIM we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of GOD. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because GOD’s love has been poured into our hearts through the HOLY SPIRIT who has been given to us.

Blessings

A'Keta Julinate'

Single Single....Life

I have gone back and forth trying to decide if I would write this post. I was not sure if I wanted to be so candid about my life but I am reminded that GOD blesses and delivers you to bless and deliver someone else. So......

September 4, 2004 I stood in front of my family, friends and GOD and married a man who I thought was the love of my life. Today 8 years later I am divorced and single. When I got married at 27 I NEVER thought that I would be single at 35.

When I decided that I wanted to start dating again it was hard. I can remember telling my brother that this whole dating scene was not what I wanted. I had dated my ex husband for about 3 yrs before we got engaged so it was difficult for me to step back in the dating scene. I can be honest and say that when I decided to start dating again I wasn't seeking GOD for the man HE had for me. I was still growing in CHRIST...AMEN! So needless to say that my relationships were short lived and usually sexual.

In April 2011 I finally made the decision to stop talking to a guy that I really liked because he was not willing to make a commitment so I decided to take a break from dating and focus on my relationship with GOD. I was tired of giving so much of myself (physically and mentally) to others. I knew that if I seeked GOD HE would pour into my spirit.

After about 9 months of not dating and spending time with GOD I met someone who I thought was good for me. I can remember GOD telling me one night as I was sitting on the end of my bed that HE was going to send me someone that truly loves me. HE reminded me of my relationships with my girlfriends. He said you feel love from them...right? I sent them to you....Surely I will send you a husband that will love you. I smiled and thought well GOD you sent me someone already....

Little did I know then that GOD was telling me that guy was not the one. I talk about my disobedience of that relationship here.

Today...right now as I am writing this I am enjoying being single. Last week I was emotional and really feeling the blues that I am 35 single with no biological kids of my own. I wanted to write this post to say I struggle with being single and really giving up control of the relationship area of my life. Wheeew.....saying that out loud is freeing! WOW

I TRUST GOD with every area of my life EXCEPT the relationship area. I have given GOD every area of my life EXCEPT the relationship area. I don’t stress over anything EXCEPT the relationship area. I go to GOD about every area of my life EXCEPT the relationship area.  I need a moment after writing that....

This makes me sad! I am telling GOD that HE is not good enough to handle my relationships. It is like me looking HIM in the face and telling HIM that I don’t trust HIM enough to get it right. Like I can do it better....

That is clearly not true! Hello that is why I am divorced and single because I had my hands in the mix ALL this time. I need to let go (exhaling) and KNOW that HE is GOD! 

My declaration to GOD: I throw up my hands and surrender to YOU GOD! I am giving YOU EVERY area of my life to include the relationship area. Like YOU said YOU did great in sending me the BEST girlfriends (LOVE YOU LADIES) YOU will do the same when it is time to send me a husband.

Until then I will continue to allow YOU to mold me and shape me into YOUR masterpiece. I will stay out of my own way and TRUST YOU GOD!

During this transition I will not concern my time with dating or finding a husband but with pleasing YOU As Paul discussed in 1 Corinthians 7:34 An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. (Read 1 Corinthians 7:25-40 in depth).

When I feel myself getting emotional I will draw closer to GOD and remember that my JOY comes from HIM!

Again I pray that my words blessed someone as it always blesses me to be real with my feelings and GOD!

Blessings

A'keta Julinate'